The 5 "R's" of Educating Your Young Child About Etiquette
The principles of proper etiquette are important ideals to be fostered in children. Best Behavior: A Celebration of Good Manners for Our African-American Children is a book that I wrote to guide children towards civility and decorum. In my book, I employ thoughtful rhymes and use beautiful photographs of children engaged in mannerly behaviors to teach valuable life lessons on manners and behavior. Best Behavior is "Old School Etiqu ette for a New Generation".
Here are some ways to promote good manners in your young child:
- Recognize opportunities to teach your child etiquette. Occasions to learn good manners are all around you. From interactions with clerks at the grocery store to introductions to new acquaintances, every encounter can be a learning experience. Inspire the appropriate behavior by reminding your child of the Golden Rule: "Treat others as you want to be treated."
- Reiterate the message that manners matter. Young children learn best by repetition and reinforcement. If your child misses the opportunity to be mannerly, have the child try it again the right way. A developmentally appropriate minimum standard of behavior for a variety of situations should be set by the parent and reviewed with the child often. In this manner the child will learn what is appropriate for a given situation and when the application of such standards is applicable. Tell your child what behavior you expect from him or her in a given circumstance.
- Reinforce the rules of etiquette. At times, it is much easier to tolerate rudeness and let surly behavior "slide" than to correct the child immediately. Instead, discipline the child discretely without embarrassment, if possible. Punishment or shame should not be the objective or goal of the admonition. Rather, learning proper etiquette is the important lesson that should be emphasized. If chronic misbehavior goes uncorrected, an opportunity to learn decorum will be missed.
- Represent yourself as a model of civility. Here the old adage: "Don't do as I do! Do as I say!" will not work. As a parent, guardian, advisor, or role model, you are the child's first, best and most effective teacher. Children will learn by example, follow the parents' lead and pattern their behavior accordingly.
- Reward your child for displaying good manners. Enthusiastically praise him or her for making the effort to behave well. Celebrate your childís show of empathy and concern for others. Not only will your child be gratified, but also your child will be pleased by the unfamiliar person who compliments the mannerly display. As a parent, you, too, will welcome unsolicited comments from passers-by who say to you, "Your child has such good manners!"
Copyright © 2004 by Debra A. Henry, M.D.
Debra A. Henry, M.D. is a practicing physician with a specialty in adult psychiatry. She is also the author of Best Behavior: A Celebration of Good Manners for Our African-American Children. Please note that the content of this article is not the dispensation of medical advice; rather it is the non-clinical view of the author as that viewpoint relates to the topic of etiquette and not to a specific medical or behavioral disorder.
Best Behavior—A Celebration of Good Manners For Our African-American Children
This children's book of etiquette teaches the fundamentals of manners and decorum through playful verse that is easy for young minds to remember and is illustrated by images of African-American children engaged in mannerly behaviors that are hard to forget.
Reserve your copy of Best Behavior—A Celebration of Good Manners For Our African-American Children today! On sale now for $12.95 plus tax, shipping and handling.
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